dreamed last night of a woman upstairs berating someone in Mandarin, on and on and on, and a regular beating or whipping sound throughout it. we joked that they were having a heavy sex session, and the dream was titled "A Child is Being Beaten". soon a woman broke through our door into our apartment - I think she was distressed (even though it was the same woman who had been shouting) and I think she sat down with her face in her hands. there was a child being beaten upstairs but she was doing nothing about it. I was going to move but then the man came through the door with the young boy hogtied on a pole. his face was exposed and bruised and his eyes were closed but he was alive. the man dumped him on the floor. I was shocked, and I raised my hand to my face to cover it.

this morning, after my dream, someone told me about the newly adopted children, who have been here for less than a month. the father, finding it difficult, screams at them that he hates them, but in English 'so they don't understand'. it makes me sick, I feel sick about it. having known what kind of father he would be. everyone knew. could I have made an anonymous phone call - to whom? the embassy? to say what? that he shouted at me once at a party? felt me up? do I think the orphanage was better than that?