dreamed N and I were moving in to my stepdad's family home in Ham. My parents were there, friendly and supportive as we get stuff sorted out. B is there too, in the middle of a psychotic episode but also quite chilled out.
I have a short argument with my stepdad. Somewhere in it he makes a joke about me being raped. It's more disrespectful and kind of aggressive than threatening. Later in the dream I come back to this, realising I need to just tell him (so I do) how unpleasant and upsetting it is, and that I don't want it to happen again. Saying this ends this problem and episode, to my surprise, so that for a moment the dream is just dark for a scene change.
Earlier in the dream I start to fight with N. He gets wild almost immediately, we're screaming at each other, right in front of my parents and B. I decide not to try to hide it. Eventually he goes into the bedroom and comes out with a pack and a bunch of stuff - he's leaving me and going back to the old place. I'm relieved, I say good, go! and I shove him off. I think, though, that once he's calmed down we'll end up sorting it out.
But soon he comes back, I see a rifle barrel pointing at me. I'm terrified, I grab my stepdad and pull him down to hide. I try to get everyone else down too. I feel sick, I know this is the end, that we can't come back from this because he will end up in a psych ward.
Out the front is a verandah and/or car full of women and girls from my stepdad's family (his sisters, their daughters, babies), happy and chatting despite the circumstances. I don't know where N is but I am saying it's best if they get away from here. We're in the car driving away. I'm going to be dropped off somewhere, not sure if I'm trying to find N, go back to the old house to get something or I'm just accidentally in the car. But I need to get out or I'll lose my sense of direction. There are heaps of us in the back crammed in. I need to get out. One of the little girls hands one of the babies back to her mother because we need to move around so I can get out of the car. but she doesn't support the baby's head as she passes it on and it flops backward. Maybe the baby's damaged. The mother tuts, so dangerous.
If we go any further I'll be lost. We stop towards the bottom of a steep tunnel and I get out. I think I know the way back from here . I turn and start walking back up the tunnel. There is a pedestrian path painted in on the left hand side, I go there. There's also a sign up saying NO PEDESTRIANS. I'm going to walk it but I realise that if a car comes around the tunnel's corner at a clip I'll be wiped out. I feel like someone's watching to see if I follow the rules.
I turn and walk back down the tunnel, thinking I'll have to find another way up the hill, hopefully without getting too lost. The tunnel opens into a street at the bottom of a very narrow valley, with very steep, high reinforced embankments on the facing side. I glance up. there are military guys in cammo posted up there, watching. In the centre, way up, there's an old kuia with a full face moko, regal and full of judgement, gazing down. I look away quickly. I turn to my right, think I'll find a way up over here. It's so steep and none of the streets lead in a direction parallel to the tunnel. I am going to get hepelessly lost. there are soldiers up above, everywhere, and threatening looking civilian guys. I decide on a street to take but soon realise that it leads up through the grounds of a psych hospital.
I have a short argument with my stepdad. Somewhere in it he makes a joke about me being raped. It's more disrespectful and kind of aggressive than threatening. Later in the dream I come back to this, realising I need to just tell him (so I do) how unpleasant and upsetting it is, and that I don't want it to happen again. Saying this ends this problem and episode, to my surprise, so that for a moment the dream is just dark for a scene change.
Earlier in the dream I start to fight with N. He gets wild almost immediately, we're screaming at each other, right in front of my parents and B. I decide not to try to hide it. Eventually he goes into the bedroom and comes out with a pack and a bunch of stuff - he's leaving me and going back to the old place. I'm relieved, I say good, go! and I shove him off. I think, though, that once he's calmed down we'll end up sorting it out.
But soon he comes back, I see a rifle barrel pointing at me. I'm terrified, I grab my stepdad and pull him down to hide. I try to get everyone else down too. I feel sick, I know this is the end, that we can't come back from this because he will end up in a psych ward.
Out the front is a verandah and/or car full of women and girls from my stepdad's family (his sisters, their daughters, babies), happy and chatting despite the circumstances. I don't know where N is but I am saying it's best if they get away from here. We're in the car driving away. I'm going to be dropped off somewhere, not sure if I'm trying to find N, go back to the old house to get something or I'm just accidentally in the car. But I need to get out or I'll lose my sense of direction. There are heaps of us in the back crammed in. I need to get out. One of the little girls hands one of the babies back to her mother because we need to move around so I can get out of the car. but she doesn't support the baby's head as she passes it on and it flops backward. Maybe the baby's damaged. The mother tuts, so dangerous.
If we go any further I'll be lost. We stop towards the bottom of a steep tunnel and I get out. I think I know the way back from here . I turn and start walking back up the tunnel. There is a pedestrian path painted in on the left hand side, I go there. There's also a sign up saying NO PEDESTRIANS. I'm going to walk it but I realise that if a car comes around the tunnel's corner at a clip I'll be wiped out. I feel like someone's watching to see if I follow the rules.
I turn and walk back down the tunnel, thinking I'll have to find another way up the hill, hopefully without getting too lost. The tunnel opens into a street at the bottom of a very narrow valley, with very steep, high reinforced embankments on the facing side. I glance up. there are military guys in cammo posted up there, watching. In the centre, way up, there's an old kuia with a full face moko, regal and full of judgement, gazing down. I look away quickly. I turn to my right, think I'll find a way up over here. It's so steep and none of the streets lead in a direction parallel to the tunnel. I am going to get hepelessly lost. there are soldiers up above, everywhere, and threatening looking civilian guys. I decide on a street to take but soon realise that it leads up through the grounds of a psych hospital.
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