things haven't been quite the same since my dream of being tortured. some time in the few days after that I meditated and it came back, the feeling of the forearm shoved up into my torso and squeezing. It was unbearable. In my head, as it began, panicked shouting - 'not again not again not again'. but it continued, and afterwards left me with the sensation of something being over. maybe of something having been killed. something specific, which used to reside on the left side of my face, below my eye, close to my nose.