it's all about the flight paths at the moment. seeing out, having a view. it helps so much here, where it's so hard to be outside. view skating along the buzzing green tips of the trees where they are respiring in the light. sea apples, angsanas, rain-trees, broad-leaf mahoganies.

and after dark the campus lights, quiet and peaceful. among these sorts of pleasures I feel guilty about having requested a bigger place, so I could work easier, so we didn't kill each other, so we could have more happiness. about having air-conditioning on so our things don't mould. it niggles and nags. I don't know how to make peace with the needs of the self that actively take something from others.