soft shroud 4

                                    people, go back and shelter in the church remains

                                    leave the garden empty (& white tablecloths

lengthen my neck below behind the foothills

unmake lines of stone     haze  

my jawbone    go back visit them there

drop everything from the hands push open the window push closed the window push open the window. something happen to the air   flakes of ash. wear a coat take off a coat wear a coat. wear your hair and pat the skin with ash

in the window    plant life    radiate outwards and radiate inwards

thick clarity in a thinner humnet of motorways.

motorways in the future     arrest.    plant life, croach up the road works push apart the concrete.

arrest to a point    an east-west palm in all these countries

radiate out and radiate in       with         all  

 to navigate keep a finger place in the ocean       a point in that “taxonomic feeling”

the fingers, press down into the membrane of the floor.

read it coming up. blue fork veins. come up. come on up heat.

read a man in the gully with his gumboots on.

man in the gully with an egg in his mouth.

read pieces of the bridge on high, haze unmake the lines of the sky stones.

read the gully on a man. weight of a wedge of air.

walled at the gully mouth rising blue. blue be higher (no where is a gully mouth blocked. block painted blue. static. please hold the

egg in your hand and up in the air. floor river heat up. river through the gully go, hot organs of a mountain. mud flow strip the gumboots.

strip the ankles. collect at the concrete wall. rise there against the wall. water go on. ashmud come. shearwaters lift with the lines of a bridge

is it near? mouth-wall collect us against you. go out lights. well let the ankle bones let us lie. wrap in the softest you wore. those little ankle bones go. toe bones go let go jaw go. be cased. cat-rounded in a blue corner, and blanket, and mountain shade 

beats live heat in the legs

beats bees in the live heat of the

blinking knees

without saddle the horse towards heat

spongiform taste already the hooves in the loam,

print already the loam the taste of an apricot grove

ashclouds tumbling forward into the past

our present delight pressing the form of its already passing in waves

breaking exquisitely a form of walking the mantle to the burning peak

and which way does the mantle fall? it always falls away from you

uncovering

black dilation

I'm going to stay with Bill who lives next to my old flat. Bill's not home so I pop into the old flat and Gig Ryan is living there. We talk and hang out and I feel weirdly welcome and comfortable. I find I can just talk normally and I have things to say. She tells me I'm doing much better than she was at the same age. I know my dad and stepmum are coming for the night - it's my dad's birthday - but I haven't actually made any arrangements yet. I thought we'd stay at Bill's but I haven't asked him yet. I think maybe if I can't get hold of him I'll ask Gig if we can crash there.

When they turn up they are drunk. My step-mum keep stuffing things into her mouth and swallowing them - not just food but anything. They are so strange that Gig is amused at first. But they are angry with me that I haven't made any arrangements. My dad says sarcastically 'thanks for the special day.' I try to explain that we will probably will stay with Bill. At one point I want to talk but there's a weird taste in my mouth. I spit and my saliva is red. I start to hook this substance out of my mouth. It's a head of flowers - the little red ones that look a bit like jasmine.

There's a kid around who is a bit disgusted. My stepmum keeps swallowing things and then throwing them up - paper, objects, anything around her. I keep pulling things out of her mouth so she doesn't choke. Gig looks at me and runs her hand across her neck, the 'kill it' sign. At first I think she might mean there's something wrong with my stepmum's neck so I look to check. She's in the middle of swallowing a plastic bag full of confetti and other things. I try to pull it away from her. They are angry at me. Gig wants us to get out too but I still haven't made any arrangements with Bill, who is not home.

goodbye Maurice Sendak.

sea-robin

My mother has gone, and left me here / My father has gone and left me here / I'm going to
weep like a willow / And mourn like a dove / O Lord, I cannot stay here by myself

ss scheming

1.

-  (prelude) theft at the cemetery under the bridge. grafton of the state, historical grafton.
the theft is senseless because the actors are indistinguishable.

- present orientation, intention: burial in the wild burial grounds (equator)

- the wound, unwrapping it. summer stairs (grafton)
- the sealed wound, sarcophagus plugging memory of force (plugging, removal) (memory time)
- force-sealed mouth (grafton)
- force-sealed mouth dead body (grafton)
- the cortege (journey to the burial grounds, equator)
- force, blame (transfer of weight), electrocution, death on the bridge (the opened memory, memory time)
- lust, forced death of lust (the closed memory)
- the single attendant, the burying weight (journey)
- celestial equatorial grafton, wild burial grounds - the seeding there.

2. The Book of Debt

-  (prelude) Knifebeaks in the (celestial) Impress oversee this debt

- the hole in the corpse's head opens way to the event horizon, in the (breathless) Great Lung
- debt the condition of birth. mother gravid in the hash-house.
- mother remembers in song a time of plenty - the eggs, the horse
- Knifebeaks oversee the journey of the indebted. Knifebeaks oversee the cutting away of the infant corpse.
- they make a wound. the wound produces.

3. Concurrent Nights

- (prelude) cave-time

- water glyphs, desert, sunlight
- flood devastated estate
- the hive, sunlight
- under-water life. sword-swallowing. caddis-fly ascent
- bubble, egg ascent
- a warm place under the surface
- the egg in the mouth

follow

- dreaming muscles. the sleeping string in the spine. (memory)

- present emptiness. scattering devils to corners and out windows (forgetting)

-trust for settled breath: constancy forms. week-long memory.

- balance for adornment; the freedom of the foot; the foot caresses the floor.

switch

- the camera at the shins; brain lateralization, soldiers, PTSD, attachment (memory presence)


lead 

- thinking a thought forward with firm arms (forwarding)

- apology and panic (struggle, forwarding)

- disassociation, heels, contact with the floor (memory)