It was at a conference in a school gym. I was about to leave for the southernmost city and we fought. I told you how much I hated you - was jealous of your intelligence and hated my stupidity. You knew and understood and said some things back, and some things about being older - it was enough and we embraced - you wrapped your legs around my waist and I held you like that for ages and ages, we cried, we kissed passionately, not sexually, you were light and I supported you with my hands on your back - I could feel how lively you are in your whole body, and this energy like a frustrated rocket forward into dark, nothing to do with me. The conference went on wrapping up behind us but the little kids were running around and playing where we were - R was in the background, T took a photo, M's little daughter, now a toddler, came and talked to us about why, why, why....