a second appointment yesterday with a new woman whose initials are also SB. a new guardian on the door. once a month. she has strange wet eyes, like she regularly looks through a glass to another realm. and a nice smile.

afterwards I went into the shops again, and I bought checked pants, and silky tops in vivid green and soft pink and one in soft green with small purple birds tending its regency flowers. I bought sandals that divide my feet into six equal cubes and sandals with cushioned soles for long walks.

this morning i lay dozing and i became a young south asian man walking through a tunnel, agitated, banging the wall, wanting to get out. but the tunnel shifted in angle and the exit became visible. the tunnel opens out onto a green world, trees shifting calmly in the breeze.

I have changed the background at a bee curls and finally it feels open again. the dog, I realise, was the guardian.