Down the end, turn right, and then last on the right at the end of that corridor.

The room is bright green on two walls - glass, with a spacious, full garden spreading out before the road. The doctor is standing, talking softly to a grey and white bird that hovers outside, clattering lightly against the glass.

Yes, what can I do for you today? he says, then remembers me as he turns back to the room. 

-How are the hands then? Are you due for another letter? 

I take a seat and give him my hands, which he checks over, turning them and gently bending the fingers one by one. 

-They're worse, I think, despite the steroids? 

-Yes, a little worse. Not too painful, but they don't want to move. 

-Why do you think they are worse? 

The bird has moved to the eastern window, and now is hovering quite near me. 

I want to tell him but I don't. 

-I'm due back at work next week. 

-But you can't go. I will write you a letter for another week, but we must try to get to the bottom of this. Is anything different? Are you sleeping? 

-I'm still at my friend Lacey's place. She's helping. We're helping each other. But they've had to go away, and I'm having some trouble with the sleeping.

He says nothing. The bird shifts around the edges of the window, collecting insects from each corner. The doctor smiles gently and so I tell him - that I need to find the dog, I won't sleep until I've found the dog, but I'm frightened to go to the places where the dog will be. 

He kisses my hands, one then the other, looks up and smiles again. 

I tell him about the pool of glistening roses laid across the street, how I feared that street was where I'd begun to lose Jose. I tell him how I'd shut the spare bedroom door and tried to forget about it. 

-But we need to get you back to work! Don't you think your supervisor needs you? Your colleagues? 

-You could give me more steroids? 

-We are already beyond the sensible dose, my dear. There's nothing for it. You must open up the spare bedroom door, open the window, find the dog.

I stand to leave. The grey and white bird becomes frantic, now throwing its whole body against the glass. 

-Is there something else? the doctor asks. 

I don't know how to describe it. My hands are warm where he kissed them.

-Is it possible that by doing this, by going through the window, I would make certain things happen?

-Of course. By doing anything  - or not doing anything - you make things happen.

-But is it possible that if I don't go that way, the rose pool won't be there?

He stands up and opens a high panel in the window, drops a handful of seed onto the ledge below. He doesn't answer me. 

-I'm worried about Lacey and her family, I tell him. 

He closes the window. -Then find a way to keep them safe. You can find a way. Take my card, my dear, and call me if you need to.