heat swarms up the back of my neck and now the cold tiles don't feel cold, just clammy. standing's not an option and even crouching is getting suss, woozy. push myself up and over the bowl coz it's that or fall down and that's bottomless. prickling heat coming on in a rush, could be full rush of the codeine moving too fast or it's just the pain tipping over and numbing everything out. long way down. straighten up straighten up. I straighten up. yes. action crumples the numbness into a ball I can vomit. still some milk in there. relief. and more, and more. last bits bitter, bile or painkillers. last convulsion then the heat lifts. relief. breeze on wet skin. stomach simple and relaxed and the pain's scattered. now I've got about half a minute, 45 seconds. stay here and the next one's worse or crawl to the kitchen, get more milk, try more painkillers. kitchen. head low to stay out of the heat but it comes down around me. magnetic field pressing down, hissing. don't let it. pull up to the kitchen sink, straighten up, vomit again. back down, back against the cupboard doors for hardness. they're too soft, too warm. gotta get back. open the fridge for the milk and find the cold. there it is, the cold - the tiles pull up. ok now, just stay there. stay there.